Matter Anti-Matter

But you want to know what’s not cool?  That I don’t have time today to write about any of them!  

So instead, here’s a shortlist of what I would want to blather on about if I could engineer a clone of myself and force it to finish revising an unnamed academic project that holds the key to no longer having to wear a backpack in my adult life:

1. The Cloak of Invisibility:

German scientists have successfully cloaked a three-dimensional object using “transformation optics” and “laser writing” on a “woodpile photonic crystal with tailored polymer filling fraction to hide a bump in a gold reflector.”  Oh, you’re not a super-genius scientist so you don’t know what any of that means?  Let me translate: Science Make Thing Invisible.  Invisible Good.  Science Good.      

2. The Syfy Upfronts:

Syfy orders a new lineup of reality tv shows that are chimeras of other cable networks +Syfy.  For example:

-“Mr. Impossible,” a reality show about a “rogue inventor”= Syfy +Discovery Channel= Sycovery.

-“Force of Nature,” a reality show about a Feng Shui master helping sad people by using, you guessed it, Feng Shui= Syfy + HGTV= ShyGyTV

-“Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen,” a reality show about “molecular gastronimist Marcel Vigneron= Syfy + Food Channel= SyFood

-“The Dome Experiment,” a reality show about 12 people living in a sealed off bio-dome is actually a reboot of Pauly Shore’s career.  Syfy + Pauly Shore= Paulyfy    

3. A new superhero show called “Three Inches”:

“Three Inches,” also greenlit by Syfy, “centers on an underachiever who gains the power to move any object using his mind, but only for a distance of three inches. He recruits a team of fellow heroes, each with their own less-than-spectacular abilities.”  The Good: The pilot was written by Harley Peyton of Twin Peaks fame.  The Bad: If the show doesn’t live up to expectations, the title of every tv critic’s review will be “Three Inches Might Not Be Enough” or “Three Inches Proves Inadequate” or “Three Inches Having a Hard Time.”  And so forth.  

4. The Large Hadron Collider breaks its own record for most awesomely huge number of particle collisions:

…and oddly enough, the world hasn’t ended.  Yet.